I spent my entire morning off the internet and social media. WHAT?!?! I know, right?

Ok fine. I didn’t wake up until 12:45 pm today, so I was unconscious the entire morning. I guess details are important.

So I woke up. Then, what did I do? Well, I peed. I’m a machine that way. Every morning I wake up, go to the bathroom and then actually wake up. On a weekend morning what’s my next step? Check my phone. Do I have any Twitter notifications? Please, tell me I got some comments or followers on my Instagram.

From there, the scrolling begins. Well, it used to be scrolling. Now I just click the first Instagram story that comes up and go through the reel that Instagram and the Algorithm have put together for me. Algorithm with a capital A because the Instagram Algorithm is it’s own thing now. Then the thirst comes in. Shit, I’ve been laying here for 45 minutes watching people’s stories?!? Wow. Hopefully I learned something. Or got some inspiration for something. But still. Jeez. Ok, let’s get moving.

Step one: Drink a glass of water. Must. Stay. Hydrated.

Step two: Make the coffee. We’ll start with the regular two cups of coffee (that’s actual cups not measuring cups). If I decide I want more later, I’ll brew a fresh batch then. *That’s one thing about me. I hate microwaving coffee that’s been sitting there.*

Step three: Find something to watch while I make and eat breakfast. Maybe some YouTube videos? I’m all caught up on Ellen, the Jimmy’s and James Corden, so no YouTube. Can’t find anything interesting on Netflix. Oh, there’s that show I never finished on Amazon! Let’s watch that. After taking 20 minutes to decide what to watch, I start making breakfast.

Step four: Make breakfast. Eat breakfast. The show is still running after I’ve finished eating, so I sit and finish the episode. Oh, there’s only one episode left of the season? Well I might as well watch it now. What’s another hour?

Holy shit. I’ve just spent almost three hours doing what virtually amounts to nothing. Having breakfast? Fortunately the show I watched is excellent social commentary and gets my mind turning, but still. I had plans for this morning, didn’t I?

Next, I do something crazy. I decide to clean the kitchen in silence. No music or tv to distract me. Let’s see where my mind goes. Next thing I’m humming ‘Take Me or Leave Me’ from Rent. The Idina Menzel and Tracie Thoms version, not the original cast version. Sorry, not sorry.

Stop it Kristina. The whole point was to think. Let yourself get creative. I start reflecting on the show I’ve just watched and what it’s saying. How so much of this show set in the 1950’s hasn’t changed. In 2018. I wish you could capitalize numbers. 2018!!!

Finally! It took twenty minutes of washing dishes and cleaning the stove and my mind is starting to wander. I’m feeling creative and thinking of some new story ideas. Next thing you know I’m done. There’s no more cleaning to do. Well, let me check my Instagram. Surely something important has happened since I checked it three hours ago.

– fin –