One thing people are consistently surprised by in my life is when I tell them how insecure I am and used to be. When I started on Instagram in 2012, I got really vulnerable and mentioned how big of a struggle high school had been for me. I specifically remember a classmate of mine texting me letting me know I was someone she looked up to, because of my confidence. Ha! Obviously that in itself was a confidence boost; it was an affirmation that my ‘fake it till you make it’ theory seemed to work. Now, what feels like several lifetimes later, I feel like a completely different person. I’m not faking it anymore. Here’s how I’m actually able to [for the most part] remain a confident plus size woman.

Remember, we’re all works in progress.

1. Surrounding myself with other plus size bodies

One of the most impactful things for me has been analyzing who I follow on social media. Instagram makes many of us play the comparison game, and used to cause me anxiety and tons of self-doubt. So I changed it up. I did a big clean-up of who I was following. No more guilty pleasure follows, no more celeb gossip or petty meme accounts. Now I only follow accounts and people that add value – the one group I really love is other plus size people. Obviously, I follow my fave plus travel blogger ladies, but I also follow plus people across the board, either for their inspiring captions or envelope-pushing fashion. Seeing body diversity in my social feeds has been amazing for my confidence! It has helped me normalize my body and accept myself more.

2. Keeping active

No, I don’t always work out regularly and I’m not telling anyone they should. But for me, movement is crucial to feeling good. My goal is to practice yoga twice a week and walk an hour at least three times a week. I want to get my steps in, move and sweat. Realistically it’s my bare minimum, but it’s just enough to keep me in a good place. Plus, sweating is my number one skincare tip! If I don’t sweat, my body doesn’t push out toxins and my face breaks out. Of course, part of this is listening to my body. Some weeks I truly need rest, but my body does a good job of telling me when we need to start moving again!

3. Filling my life with things I enjoy

This may sound silly, but I have spent way too much time throughout my life simply dwelling on my body. I used to stress and work out and stress and work out. Even with eating better, I let food and exercise control my life, and even then I wasn’t happy or even thin. Now, I do other things that make me happy or fulfill me in other ways. I read books, watch documentaries, go for walks, explore where I live. I also write, work on improving my yoga practice, and spend time with friends. Having hobbies and things I’m good at help boost my general confidence and also help me enjoy my day-to-day life. It’s serotonin folks!

4. Having open and honest conversations

One of the hardest things about being the only plus size person in your family and friend group is how your loved ones can treat you. Because ‘big is bad,’ there’s always this undertone of concern, especially with loved ones. My entire youth centered around my size and weight, so the focus was constantly on ‘my health’ and making sure I would live a long, healthy life. I’ve had big conversations with those close to me, so they know how and when to bring certain topics up if they feel it necessary. I’ve also been doing more learning – and unlearning – of specific things about fatphobia and sharing that with my family and friends. Just like any other topic, talking through our feelings and experiences is difficult, but it has been crucial in my particular journey.

5. Embracing my awkwardness

Being the biggest person in a room, on a beach, or in line waiting to take a photo can make me feel really uncomfortable and insecure. ‘Is everyone staring?’ ‘Ugh, why are my arms so gross.’ ‘I wish I wasn’t sweating so much.’ Those are just some of the thoughts that run through my mind in those situations. I used to let them ruin my fun, but now I just let it out. Do I feel awkward? I’m going to laugh it out. If people are staring, I might as well give them something to stare at. So I’m funny, or I do an awkward dance. It loosens me up and makes me feel more confident.

• 

• 

• 

• 

A big part of being a confident plus size woman is showing that to the world. In general, people react to things as a response to your reactions, so when it’s clear that I’m loving life and feeling good, people see that and echo those feelings. Obviously, it’s also a ton of work. Some days are really hard and I have to do extra work. But it’s worth it in the end!

Need some more confidence-boosting tips? Check this out!

---

Pin for later: