It’s an unfortunate reality, but being and living plus size is my identity. That’s all there is to it. When so much of your life is centered around your physical size, it’s inescapable.

Here’s the thing though. Nobody used to talk about it. They’d gloss over it with other things about me, things I was good at that had nothing to do with my size. I was a great student. I played tennis fairly well until high school. My Spanish was impeccable (despite growing up in the states). It was like, let’s only talk about the great things so we can ignore this one gross thing we can’t stand about her. Oh yes.

My eating habits and workout routine were a topic for the entire family to discuss and comment on. I feel bad for my two younger sisters and the yummy junk food they probably missed out on because my mom didn’t want it around the house, around me.

I was always ashamed of myself for my body. I’d apologize for it, for inconveniencing others. I’d bow out of things because I didn’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable.

It’s not been until recently that I’ve come to terms with myself and my physical body. Yes, I’ve said that in the past, but I wasn’t being honest. I was only ‘ok’ with it because I had lost weight and was an ‘acceptable’ size.

This time is different. Things are different. The landscape has changed. Celebrities, models and other regular people are speaking up. Body positivity is a thing.

People aren’t afraid to say ‘fat’ or ‘plus size.’ Good. They aren’t bad words. I’m plus size, and? It’s a fact and it’s not going to hurt my feelings to hear that. That’s the first time I can say that in my entire life. I’m also a brunette, have brown eyes and a weird birthmark. This isn’t front page news.

Why am I even writing this down? Because I haven’t read it before. I’ve read about the extremes. About people who wanted to be beauty queens and be plus size or about people who claim the title fat and don’t care. I don’t fit in either box. Being overweight is genetic for me, but so is high cholesterol, and thyroid problems and I don’t have those issues. As far as doctors are concerned, the only number that’s ‘irregular’ is my weight. I eat well, don’t overdo it on alcohol and am moderately physically active. But I’m still plus size and that’s alright.

People have lots of opinions on this, but I was reminded the other day that only I can speak to my experience. I am the authority on the topic of living as Kristina and living as plus size in my environment. (I say my environment because I’m Colombian and they do not like fat women.)

My shame used to stop me from talking about these things. I’m a product of my environment after all. The focus was always on everything else. Well I’m entering a time in my life where I want to talk about it. I need to talk about it. Other people need to hear this.

So hi. My name is Kristina. I’m 28, plus size and fluctuate between size 16 – 20 US, depending on the brand and day. There is nothing special about me, I’m like most people. And like most people, I just want to know there are people like me out there.

If any of this resonates or sounds even remotely familiar, say hi! Follow along, I’m going to be way more vocal on the topic over here. 

Also – be sure to read about my journey in Body Confidence too!

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