As of April 15, I am six months away from turning 30 years old. It feels weird to say that, but then not weird at all. At this point, I my age barely phases me. I don’t feel almost 30, I don’t think. It’s more when people are surprised to find out my age that I really notice. Or when I say my age and people go, ‘oh! Almost 30, yikes!’ as though I’m reaching the end of something good or the beginning of some kind of demise.

When I think about the fact that I’m turning 30, I’m kind of indifferent. The past few years of birthdays have been pretty insignificant, maybe that’s why. Or maybe it’s because I was never that person that set out life goals based on age. [Well, I did used to say with a guy friend that if we were both 35 and single we’d just move in together and be bff roommates. Haha].

I stopped making long-term plans a long time ago, so turning 30 never really meant anything to me. It’s just a number. I do have some thoughts now.

Thoughts on Turning 30

• Realistically, my first thought is that I’m a little scared to be single with zero prospects. I wouldn’t be worried if I were dating, but I’m not. Part of that has to do with physical insecurities and part with the fact that I’m a commitment-phobe. I don’t even know where I want to be in two years, let alone who I want to be with the rest of my life!
• Then from there I begin to get a bit scared about being alone the rest of my life. Like, I guess I’d always assumed I’d find someone to travel with or live with and now I’m not sure. I never planned to get married but I guess I assumed I wouldn’t be alone? Yes – I’m aware that logic makes no sense.
• I feel unaccomplished. Like I don’t have my shit together. That’s when the number 30 scares me. Because I’m supposed to have my shit together. I feel like I’m supposed to have the job, mortgage and husband. I’m supposed to have some kind of plan at least. I have none. I’m almost 30 with no life plan. And that part is terrifying.
• I’m a millennial cliche. If I were to move back to the states, I would likely need to move in with my parents, at least for a bit. I’d be that 30 year old living with her parents. There’s nothing wrong with that, but still.
• I’m getting to that age where making friends feels impossible. People my age – which incidentally is a phrase I hate – are settling down, having kids, leading super busy lives. Then again, why do I have to be friends with ‘people my age’?

So here’s how I’m going to look at it. I’m going to be 30 soon and I’ve done some incredible things. I’ve accomplished life goals. I’m traveling the world. I have a few amazing close friends, a wonderful family and am becoming part of an amazing community of women all over the world. I am constantly learning and growing and changing. And that’s good enough for now.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on turning 30.

You can also check out my thoughts on the day I turned thirty!

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