It seems like everyone is all about confidence these days, but we all have those moments when we’re just not feeling it. It seems like no matter what we do, we just can’t muster up the confidence to go do that thing, or see those people. 

You could generalize and say that plus size people are the ones most obviously affected, especially when it comes to our bodies. Society surrounds us with images and videos of thin, toned people all day. It can make you feel left out or like you’re not enough.

I know you’re probably thinking about all the #BodyPositivity movements you’ve seen everywhere, and how some brands are making strides to use ‘real’ people and unretouched photos. True. And I’m stoked about it.

It’s also great how so many plus size celebrities and influencers are becoming more welcome and appreciated. Also – is it just me, or is being kind to one another on social media finally becoming a thing? I’ve definitely noticed an uptick and seeing people encourage each other actually makes my day.

But sometimes that isn’t enough. You can’t – well, I can’t – just up and decide one day that you’re going to be confident from that moment forward. It doesn’t work that way. Confidence works like a wave; sometimes you’re riding the wave high, other times it’s pulling you down. Because we don’t get to pause life for those more insecure moments, here are six tips on what to do when you need to muster up some confidence.

1. Fake it til you make it

Yeah, you’ve heard this one before, but it works. Whenever you catch yourself thinking/saying something negative about yourself, course-correct. Turn it around and say something positive instead. Eventually, you’ll think of the positive things first.

2. Daily affirmations

Find some phrases or words that encourage and empower you, or that make you smile. You can write them on post-its all over your room, subscribe to an app that sends you a note every morning, or buy a book full of them. Whatever it is, find time in your daily routine for these. They might feel super awkward at first, but they are really helpful over time.

3. Meditation or prayer time

Spend some time – most people would recommend in the morning – to yourself. Or in prayer. This doesn’t have to be a spiritual activity, you could just find time each morning to gather your thoughts and set an intention for the day. Or you could make it prayer time. Sometimes I meditate, other times I stay up at night and talk to God. For me it’s about self-reflection and self-awareness.

4. Do a physical activity

Move your body and you’ll start to feel it and be more aware of it and how powerful and strong you really are. This could mean stretches, walks, or yoga. Sometimes, right before I go out, I try to do 10 pushups. It helps me to be aware of my body and gives me a tiny boost. If you have more time, go for a walk or run. Do that until you’ve pushed through.

5. Stop comparing

Most of our insecurities come from comparing ourselves to others. Stop it. Don’t worry about what other people think, it has no bearing on who you are. Sorry for the cliche, but you do you. Let them sort themselves out.

6. Remember, we only have one life

You’ll only have this opportunity this one time. Go live it, you deserve to!

I used to be incredibly insecure, letting my feelings about my body stop me from living my life. If I had a dollar for every time I opted out of a day on the lake, a night out, or even just hanging out with friends…Let’s just say I’d have a lot of dollars. Those moments still happen, where I can’t seem to get confident, I can’t stand the way I look and feel, and I can’t get in a good mood. The worst part is not only do those times ruin my day, they make everyone around me annoyed too.

I have good days and bad days, like anybody else. The difference is now I have the tools to make the bad days a little better and the good days great.

Do you have any tips to add to the list?

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