Well folks, I am officially no longer 30 years old! Today is my 31st birthday. I had so many thoughts prior to turning thirty and then lots of conclusions once I turned thirty, but this feels different. I feel like 30 is this weird precipice. Being 30 years old is one thing but doesn’t quite feel like you’re in your thirties. Until now. I’m officially in my early thirties. Sometime in July I started thinking about my birthday, this past year and all the things I have and haven’t learned about myself so far. So much happened before 30, but then, so much happened during that thirtieth year. I started writing a list out and decided to share it here.

Maybe it’s sage advice to someone younger. Maybe it sounds silly to someone older. Maybe they’re things that are important to me, so I want to document them. I know we generally have to learn things for ourselves, but maybe sharing what I’ve learned can help someone in some way. Here’s hoping!

So here we go, my list of thirty things I learned during my 30th year around the sun.

1. To stop and listen to myself. Too often I looked to others so see what they think, whether or not they approved. Now I take a moment and listen to myself first.  
2. Traveling solo is wonderful, but finding a travel partner you really jive with is often better.
3. Be yourself at all times. Be goofy, serious, happy, angry. Feel it all. Sometimes that means dancing in the middle of the street. 
4. Different things speak to people in different ways. Music, food and stunning architecture can move me to the point of tears. Apparently not everyone is like that and that’s ok.
5. Approach things from a place/attitude of abundance. It often feels counter-intuitive and difficult, but it’s worth it.
6. I’m really bad at friendship. I forget to check in and am terrible and making plans. 
7. Even though I consider myself an open book, I’m a pretty private person. 
8. Allow yourself time to really sit in your emotions and feel them. 
9. It’s like I’ve moved into someone else’s body. Everything has changed. My skin, my metabolism, my taste buds, my period. It’s like a complete reset.
10. I’ve got a lot of deep shit that’s been ingrained in me, small prejudices from my upbringing that are incredibly difficult to work through. But working through them is important. 
11. Alone time is not only important, it’s absolutely necessary. 
12. I don’t need a lot of stuff. Just quality things, good food and great company. 
13. When traveling, it’s always a good idea to stop and drink a coffee. 
14. We, as humans, need to safe-guard our time, energy and spaces.
15. Thirty comes with lots of pressures, expectations, etc. Throw them all out the window.
16. It’s ok to not finish the thing: the movie, the book, etc. If it is not providing entertainment, wisdom or some other useful thing, leave it. 
17. I crave (and need) some kind of routine to be productive. And that’s ok.
18. A friend you can sit in silence with is the best kind of friend. 
19. I get defensive quickly when challenged if I don’t have the time and space to reflect.
20. Too many choices/options can be incredibly overwhelming.
21. Financial security is a big dream for me. (I’d never thought about my future as much as I do now.)
22. The world is full of beautiful, brilliant people ready to change it, but those people seem to be outnumbered by people afraid of change.
23. I’m generally unbothered by getting older. I don’t mind grey hair, but the way mine is growing in makes my hair look dull and dusty. Not a fan.
24. Having siblings – and good relationships with them – is a gift to be cherished. Those relationships are tender, delicate, ever-changing and incredibly important.
25. The idea of setting down roots is both dreamy and terrifying. I’m not ready, am I?
26. People are generally inherently good, but they are also fearful and selfish. The selfishness comes from a survival instinct, not a malicious place.
27. The most important relationship a person can have is with their self and their body. It’s important to build love, trust and faith in our own abilities, intuitions and strengths.
28. I do actually want a partner in life. (I didn’t think so this up until this point.)
29. You’ll make and lose friends over time. That’s ok. Finding your people doesn’t happen all at once and those who might’ve been your people once may not be your people anymore. 
30. I have spent thirty years in this body and I am the ONLY one qualified to have an opinion on it. 

Like I said, being 30 years old is a weird, fun place to be. I definitely feel like I learned and grew into myself in ways I didn’t expect. Hopefully 31 brings even more!